The Biblical Definition of Marriage

When we talk about marriage in the Bible, we must first ask: What does Scripture actually say? And just as importantly, how has our understanding of marriage evolved over time?

1. Biblical Marriage Has Never Been Just One Thing

Many people assume that the Bible presents one unchanging definition of marriage, but the truth is, marriage in Scripture has taken many forms:

• Polygamy was common and accepted—Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon all had multiple wives (Genesis 16:3, 2 Samuel 5:13).

• Levirate marriage required a widow to marry her husband’s brother to preserve family lineage (Deuteronomy 25:5-6).

• Women were often treated as property, given in exchange for dowries or political alliances (Genesis 29:20-30, 1 Samuel 18:27).

• Marriage laws changed over time—Jesus Himself challenged old laws on divorce (Matthew 19:8-9) and redefined the purpose of marriage.

This tells us something important: Marriage has never been a static institution. It has always evolved as people’s understanding of God’s justice and love deepened.

2. The Heart of Marriage in Scripture

When Jesus speaks about marriage, He does not focus on legal definitions or rigid structures—He focuses on love, commitment, and faithfulness.

• Marriage is meant to reflect God’s love. Paul describes it as a relationship of mutual self-giving, where both partners love and sacrifice for one another (Ephesians 5:25).

• Marriage is a covenant, not just a contract. It is about two people committing to love and care for each other (Malachi 2:14).

Jesus repeatedly put love and justice above legalism—He healed on the Sabbath, ate with sinners, and broke religious customs in order to reveal God’s deeper truth: love is the highest law (Matthew 22:36-40).

3. What Does This Mean for Gay Marriage?

LGBTQ+ people seek the same thing that all people do: a loving, committed partnership that reflects faithfulness, care, and covenant love.

Some argue that certain Bible verses condemn homosexuality, but those passages (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27) were written in very different cultural contexts—ones that did not understand sexual orientation as we do today. The Bible does not describe loving, committed same-sex relationships the way we see them today, just as it does not describe modern heterosexual marriage either.

But what the Bible does call us to is justice, mercy, and love:

• “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

• “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)

• “Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” (Romans 13:10)

4. The Real Question: Are We Reflecting Jesus?

Rather than asking whether same-sex marriage fits into an ancient definition, we should ask: Does it reflect the love, faithfulness, and justice of God?

If two people are committed to one another in love and faithfulness, supporting and uplifting one another, and seeking to reflect God’s love in their relationship, then how can we say that is not holy?

The world has changed, and so has our understanding of marriage. What has not changed is God’s call to love, justice, and faithfulness.

So let’s make sure that in all our conversations, our highest priority is reflecting the love of Christ—because that is the greatest commandment of all (Matthew 22:37-40).